You’ve probably heard about roommate agreement meetings, but maybe you don’t know how to best go about holding one. It’s awkward sitting down with all of your roommates and discussing your house rules, but it’s super important. If you establish clear rules now, it’ll be much less awkward later on when issues arise. If you’re living in the dorms, your RA will probably arrange a meeting for you and lead it, but if not, it’s a good idea to hold one yourself.

Here is what to expect from a roommate agreement meeting.

Before the roommate agreement meeting:

If you have more than one roommate (this includes everyone in your suite, apartment, etc, not just your bedroom), agree on a time when all of your roommates can meet together. Everyone needs to be there so that everyone can discuss and agree on rules together.

Think about what is important to you. Can you live without an empty sink every night, or will dirty dishes drive you crazy? Do you absolutely need to shower at seven am because that’s the only time that will work with your schedule? Try to pick only one thing that is really important to you, and be open-minded or flexible about other issues. You have to compromise a lot when you live with other people, so be prepared to do so.

At the beginning of the meeting:

Encourage everyone to speak up. If you have a quiet roommate, be sure to encourage them to speak at the beginning of the meeting, and ask for their opinion throughout the meeting. Make it clear that everyone will get their turn to speak, and that there will be no interrupting each other.

Get out some paper so that you can write your decisions down. The document you create will be your roommate agreement contract.

What to discuss:

I suggest breaking it up into categories and going through each one at time. Here are some potential questions. Be sure to tailor them to your own situation:

Visitors: Do you have to ask permission before having people over? How many people can you have at a time? Are visitors allowed to stay the night? Same gender visitors only? How often can you have an overnight guest stay?

Quiet hours: Are there specified “quiet times”? Do you have to be quiet when the other roommate is sleeping? Keep the lights out? What about if a roommate is studying? Do you have to be quiet then?

Sleeping: What time do you wake up each and go to bed? Can the person who gets up earlier or stays up later turn on the lights?

Sharing: Will you share anything? Cleaning supplies? Appliances? Clothing? Food? Do you have to ask first? Who is in charge of buying shared things like toilet paper or cleaning supplies?

Cleaning: What is the cleaning schedule? Will you rotate chores, or will each person be responsible for the same thing every week? What are the consequences for not cleaning?

Shared spaces: How will you split space in the room, fridge, pantry, bathroom, etc?

Schedules: Will you have a shower or bathroom schedule? Are there times when each roommate will be alone in the room (when the other is in class, etc)? If not, is that important to the roommate?

Rent and other expenses: Are you responsible for paying rent and other bills each month? How will you handle that? What will you do if a roommate is late paying?

Special needs: Do any of your roommates have any allergies or other special needs that the other roommates need to be aware of?

Anything else: Did you discuss everything that you wanted to? Are there any other issues you can foresee arising that you need to discuss now?

How to handle disagreements: Allow each roommate a chance to speak their mind. If you can’t reach a consensus, make some kind of compromise. Whoever is dissatisfied with one decision gets to have a different decision made in their favor. If it still can’t be resolved, come up with a different kind of perk for the person, such as the good parking spot, extra storage space, more time in the bathroom, etc. If you have an RA with you, ask them for suggestions. Don’t move on until everyone is okay with the decisions being made, or it will cause more problems later.

After the meeting:

Make sure that everyone agrees with everything you’ve written down. The time to voice any dissatisfaction is now; don’t let resentments over decisions fester after the meeting. Once everyone is okay with everything written down, have everyone sign the roommate agreement contract and put it somewhere everyone can see, like on the door or the fridge.

You may want to schedule a follow up meeting in a few weeks to see how everything is going and if you need you need to make any other adjustments.

Most importantly: be sure to hold up your end of the agreement. You can’t expect your roommate to follow the rules if you don’t!